ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES OF MATING OUTSIDE THE BOX(MARRIAGE)

INTRODUCTION

Before we have a look at the analysis to know whether having sex is good or bad, let us have an elaborate discussion to know what reasons most couple cites for having sex before marriage. Some of the reasons are

• Few women have admitted that having intercourse before marriage was one of the ideas to make the guy get committed to her. Whereas, the men always have a different opinion where some may real want to share the intimacy and there are few guys who just do to satisfy their lust.
• Once when you start to have intercourse, then it becomes a natural habit which may become unavoidable and end up in having it at least two to three times a week. This will not only spoil the intimacy between them but will also break the desire to get into the next phase of life with the same girl.
• Some couples also say the reason by blaming the environment and circumstances arousing them to have intercourse and also to make their level of relationship in a comfort manner.

Even though there may be many implications of rules and regulations, it solely depends on the individuals whether to have intercourse or not. For human beings, of course, sex is about much more than the body. It's the emotional or psychological dimension of sex that makes it distinctively human. Our entire person — mind, body, and feelings — is involved. That's why sexual intimacy has potentially powerful emotional consequences. The media don't depict the emotional consequences of sex; indeed, television and the movies typically depict sex as consequence-free. And the debate over what to teach about condoms in schools or whether teens should have over-the-counter access to the "morning after" pill usually fails to address the fact that condoms and pills do nothing to make sex emotionally safe.

ADVANTAGES OF MATING BEFORE MARRIAGE

• The chemistry between the couple at the time of sexual intercourse is usually said to have increased. It not only creates an understanding between the two but also creates a good mutual respect between the couples. Still, it might be advisable only to have intercourse occasionally as making it a regular practice before marriage will surely lower your interest.
• Some people prefer to have intercourse within the same gender before marriage and this is a denial scenario since it may make the person to lose interest of having the intimacy with the opposite gender. They will not have an experience or a feel of having intercourse with opposite gender and it automatically sets their mind to deny them even after their marriage.
• The ultimate advantage is you can clearly get to know each and every proceedings of bed step by step and you actually start to enjoy and co-operate with your partner which always makes you feel so excited and anticipated.
• You can clearly note your partner inch by inch physically and may be tempted to explore more and more about your partner. In this way it is very much helpful in noting down the actions and behavior of your partner which would prove handful even after the marriage.
• Some may have problems in fulfilling the desires of their partner while the other may get fulfilled very quickly. To best avoid this problem, having intercourse before marriage will surely help you a lot. Once if you find either you or your partner is not able to fulfill each other, you can follow practicing some remedies to get fit enough and give the libido your partner wants.

DISAVANTAGES OF MATING BEFORE MARRIAGE

Infidelity. Adultery can end a marriage. Estimates of the percentage of people who cheat on their spouses vary, but many experts believe that infidelity on the part of both sexes has risen in recent decades.  One possible reason: Sexual activity before marriage has increased. The ability to resist temptation is part of our character — something that is developed over time, through practice. If we haven't practiced saying "no" to sexual temptations before marriage, it may be harder to resist such temptations after marriage.

Guilt: Guilt is a special form of regret — a strong sense of having done something morally wrong. Guilt can be a healthy moral experience if you take it as a sign that your conscience is alive and working — and as a reason to avoid in the future the behavior that caused you to have a guilty conscience. Girls are more likely than boys to report guilt about a first sexual experience, and the guilt is greater if the experience occurred under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Both guys and girls are more likely to report guilt if their first intercourse occurred with a casual partner. In his book for teens, Love, Dating, and Sex, George Eager offers this advice to young men: "When the break-up comes, it's usually a lot tougher on the girls than it is on the guys. It's not something you want on your conscience — that you caused a girl to have deep emotional problems." Guilt after sex may also stem from one's religious convictions. The major world religions, including Christianity, Judaism, and Islam, all teach that sex is a beautiful gift from a good God but that God reserves sex for the committed love relationship of marriage.

A greater chance of divorce. Researchers have found that living together before marriage is associated with a greater risk of divorce. One 2003 study of women found that "the elevated risk of divorce is particularly great for women who cohabited with both their husband and another man." The more live-in partners you have before marriage, the greater your chance. The research doesn't tell us why living together or having sex before marriage might contribute of marital breakdown.to a greater probability of divorce. One plausible reason is that sex can keep you from getting to know the other person in a deep way and finding out whether you have the shared beliefs, values, and goals on which a lasting marriage can be built. John and Kathy Colligan, who have spent many years counseling couples preparing for marriage, offer their observations: "We see many engaged couples who are living together.

Abortion: Many teens — an estimated 300,000 a year — turn to abortion when they find themselves facing a pregnancy. As both sides of the abortion debate now acknowledge, abortion ends a developing human life (there's a beating heart at 18 days, measurable brain waves at 6 weeks). Many women reported distressing emotional consequences after abortion — such as depression, nightmares, loss of self-worth, and guilt — sometimes right away, sometimes not until later. In his book, Making Abortion Rare: A Healing Strategy for a Divided Nation, David Reardon reports research finding that more than 70% of women who had an abortion said they felt it was wrong — the taking of a human life — but that they went against their conscience because at the time they felt they had no other choice. Sometimes moral misgivings about their abortion decisions did not occur until years later. Guys, too, can suffer from the emotional aftershocks of abortion. I once listened to a young man, a freshman at our college, speaking to an audience of peers about the guilt he felt — including difficulty sleeping and studying — after he helped his girlfriend get an abortion. Bottom line: Regardless of how you feel about what the law should be regarding abortion, we can agree that abortion is not a quick fix. Its effects can reverberate for years.

The corruption of character: When we treat others as sexual objects to be used for our selfish pleasure, we not only lose self-respect; we change our character — the kind of person we are becoming. Every choice we make in life affects our character, for good or for ill. Good choices strengthen our character. Bad choices deform our character. Our conscience is the part of our character that distinguishes right from wrong and helps us make good choices. In our current permissive sexual environment, many young people have a badly distorted conscience that accepts as "okay" behaviors that are in fact very wrong. For example, the Rhode Island Rape Crisis Center conducted a survey of student attitudes toward "forced sex." It asked 1,700 students grades 6 to 9: "Is it acceptable for a man to force sex on a woman if they've been dating for more than six months?" Nearly two-thirds of the boys said yes. More surprising, so did 49% of the girls. Sex can also corrupt character by leading people to lie to get sex. Common lies are: "I love you" and "I've never had an STD."

Depression and suicide: Depression becomes more common in the teens, but recent research shows it's not an automatic consequence of being a teenager. Teens who abstain from risky behavior — such as sex, drugs, and drinking — are the least likely to get depressed. Both guys and girls who engage in high levels of risky behavior are the most likely to get depressed. And for a girl, even experimenting once with sex or drugs significantly increases her risk of depression. In some cases, depression leads to the tragedy of suicide. Suicide is the third leading cause of death for 15- to 24-year-olds. Nearly one in five teens say they have seriously considered suicide in the past year.

Conclusion: our society today do not prepare young people for the aftereffects of mating before marriage: the lowered self-esteem; the despairing sense of having been used; the self-contempt for being a user; the unease about having to lie about or at least conceal one's activities from family members and others; the difficulty of breaking the cycle of compulsive sexual behavior; and the self-hatred of seeking, after each break-up, someone else to seduce in order to revive one's fading self-image. No one tells young people that it sometimes takes years to recover from the effects of these sexual experiences, if one ever fully recovers.

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